The Baby Mama

When should you introduce your child to someone you are dating?

Most single moms have a strong opinion about this topic and I'm sure it continues being the basis of some heated discussions. Some say you should wait until you plan on marrying the guy and others say it is no big deal to make the introductions whenever. I suppose I fall somewhere in between. Now, I am nowhere near being an expert on single parent dating and I have not yet begun dating and probably won't for a while - but I will offer my two cents anyway. And when I say child I am thinking of a young child, age 6 & below. I think this issue becomes less of one when dealing with an older child who understands more about relationships and who you can sit down with and discuss your intentions, plans, etc. Dating is normal and healthy for a single adult but that does not mean you should involve your young child in all your dating experiences. Children are very perceptive and they appreciate stability and security. I think it is unrealistic to say one should wait until she "is sure" about him or she plans on getting married before she introduces her child(ren) to the guy in her life. I have been "sure" several times about a guy in the past but I am no longer with them, LOL. I do think she should wait until she feels he is a significant part of her life and she has taken the time to get to know him and trusts him (really can't put a time frame on any of this....) I am SO not down with introducing a child to a guy I "just met" and am casually dating. I do not see the purpose in it.

I have more to say and will add to this later but I'm so sleepy right now and my head is about to hit the keyboard.

In the meantime, let me know where you stand on the issue...

What is a single mom?

Silly question?  Well, I was involved in a discussion here in which someone commented that a divorced mother and a single mother are different things. Huh?? To me a single mother has always been an unmarried woman that is raising her kids without their father or a stepfather in the household...regardless of if she is divorced, a widow, an ex girlfriend, or doesn't even know who the father is. Single mother is single mother. Even if the father is involved somewhat - if he isn't in the home and you are unmarried:  single mom. Right???? Anyway, I believe the commenter was implying that being a divorced single mother is somehow better than being just a single mom. Umm, whatever.

Also - why is it automatically assumed (at least it seems that way to me) when you tell someone you are a single mom that the father is a deadbeat noncontributing uninvolved lowlife? My child's father is not one of my favorite people and he gets on my everlasting nerves the majority of the time but he is nowhere near being a deadbeat. Am I being naive to think most fathers who aren't involved with the mom ARE still involved with their children and the deadbeat dads are in the minority?

Sorry if that came out all jumbled up. Hopefully you could follow it a little. lol

Poll: as a single mom, how do you plan to save for your child's college education?

Mommies, are you saving for your child's college education? Have you thought about the best way to do it or how you can even afford to do it? There are several ways to go about it but I'm not sure which one is right for me just yet. Still thinking about it. And of course with all the different methods, there are pros and cons to each. I plan to post the research I've found at a later time. In the meantime, take my poll by clicking that link and tell me how you are saving or plan to save. "I have no idea" is an answer as well, lol. If you have an opinion on which method you think is best or worst, post a comment and let us all know! As a single parent money is tight - but I think saving anything that will help your child in the future is better than saving nothing.

$5 from Kohls and free JLo fragrance sample

Get a free $5 Kohls giftcard  and 10% off your next purchase if you sign up for their Sale Alerts via their website.

Free JLo fragrance sample

can't believe it!

Her father actually said something positive to me! I must record it because it may never happen again. lol

He said: "you have taken such good care of her. it is impressive."

Now, to some of you that may not seem like too much. But he has been a complete idiot since I had her so him saying something complimentary of me is HUGE! Maybe...just MAYBE...one day we can have a civilized, drama-free parenting relationship. I'm keeping hope alive.

Bitterness

Quite a few chicas (including me) are bitter towards their baby's father to some degree, for various reasons. Maybe he isn't taking care of his financially responsibility - maybe he left you high and dry while you were preg and now wants to show up to interrupt your child's life after you've been raising him by yourself all these years - maybe he was with his new girlfriend while you were giving birth - or maybe he is just an @$$hole for a billion other reasons. I will admit I have had not one positive thought regarding my child's father in a very long time. In fact, I have had some thoughts that I am ashamed of even repeating - LOL. How do we get past that unhealthy bitterness towards him for the sake of our own happiness and peace of mind?

free potty training kit, pregnancy tests, & anti-stress bath gel

If you just want to stock up on pregnancy tests (lol) - you can request 10 pregnancy tests or ovulation tests for free incl free shipping using that link. Yep - ten! A non profit called Sacred Heart Mission is sponsoring this freebie to help women who are trying to conceive.

Free potty training kit  from Pampers includes a sample of Easy Ups Trainers, coupons, stickers & coloring pages, potty training tips, progress chart, & a Dora or Diego training trophy. 

Kiss My Face aromatherapy anti-stress bath/shower gel - free sample

free photo cards from fujifilm & free nursing cover from uddercovers

50 4x8 or 5x7 photo cards. Absolutely free including shipping. Go to http://www.seehere.com/pcOverview.do and use code "freebies4mom-1109". Must be used by Nov. 30th.  (Courtesy of freebies4mom.com)

Free $32 nursing cover from Udder Covers using code "onefree". You can either get the free cover or use the $32 towards your total purchase. You will have to pay shipping which is $7.95. These covers are really nice so I'm sure this promo won't last long...

best dating websites for single parents...according to reviews, not me

I am soooo not interested in dating right now but I am sure that will change when my baby gets a little older and I feel more comfy having folks babysit - and when I feel so starved for a love life that I can't take it anymore, LOL. Anywho, someone asked me the other day if I knew of any good dating sites for single parents so I decided to google some reviews. Again, I don't have any personal experiences with any of these sites so try them at your own risk. I will list them from least expensive to most & I will include a few things said about each. If you try any of them or have in the past, let me know! I will follow up in the near future with a post on the best places offline to meet a single parent for dating - I know some folks simply can't get with online dating. Good luck!

Single Parent Meet

$9.95 per month. Limited free trial membership. Features include video/audio greetings & live chat

Single Parents Mingle

In depth personality profile questions. $19.99 per month  

Single Parent Match

Limited guest trial membership. Paid members have access to single parent blogs, message boards, & dating advice. $29.95 per month....um, whatever!

Child support

Somebody please tell me why this FOOL who already doesn't pay his child support on a regular basis would fix his mouth to ask me if he could pay off some bills first before he starts helping out with his child like he should. Huh?! And I'm not talking about rent or basic utilities...I'm talking about stuff like bank loans and other random debt he has accumulated. Again, huh?! (Some background info: he is trying to get some bills out of the way so he and his new gf can purchase a house. Really. I'm not making this stuff up. Lol) Do I have the option of putting my child's needs on hold while I "pay off some bills"?! I must be in the twilight zone. This is why some men MUST be dealt with through the court system. I have more to say on this later but for now I must get some sleep. This blogging thing is therapeutic...glad I started doing it. Maybe it'll keep me from ending up on the news and in prison. Lol